Pity Pistol
by Angelic Wings
Summary: You're my pity pistol, hold it to my head. Pull the trigger and color the wall red.
1. Pity Pistol

There was a slam. Feet flying up the steps. A click, and then another click. Usagi's back rested against her bedroom door and she slumpt to the floor. The air was cold and brushed past her shoulders, causing her to shiver. She brought a hand to rest on her chest. Her breath was shallow and tears stung her eyes. Her rosy cheeks were white and her eyes clamped shut. How much longer would she run from the past? 

How much longer was she going to lie to herself?

Never. She'd gotten what she wanted. The gun Mamoru kept in the shoebox on the top shelf of his closet.

She held it to her chest, her breath slowing... Her eyes opened, pupils large in the darkness. Her face was calm, but her hands shook with excitement.

She she sat in a trance in the darkness. Her eyes flicked to and fro, old memories surfacing yet again. Memories of before the steel-blue eyes were confined to the body of a cat.

She recalled the hands of her lover tracing her figure, pulling her slowly into bliss.

She heard the loving whispers from the other side of the bed at night and blushed to fleeting glances thrown across the banquet hall tables.

She remembered the anger. The screaming. The horror on the night her lunar-mother found them together- Serenity laying beneath her lover on the floor.

The night the whole of Moon and Earth found the Child of the Moon that she was tainted.

The way they scoffed at Selenity when it was revealed it had been by her own advisor.

No... Not by the loving white man, but his dark counterpart.

Serenity had slept with the lovely Luna.

Creamy-white skinned Luna.. With her flowing waves of black... And those hauntingly beautiful eyes...

Serenity would never forget them.

On the night Luna was sentenced to the rest of time in the body of a cat, Serenity took her own.

She lay, bloody on the floor. Impaled by the sword Selenity had used when fighting the war between Dark and White moon.

A message.

And the lives of the universe left to pick themselves up off the floor.

And now here Usagi sat, whispering words of love to her gaurdian. Setsuna had lied to them. Mamoru would never take the places of her beloved Luna.

She would not marry him.

And so she held the gunpoint to her chest, smiled, and the Universe was again left to pick shattered lives up off the floor.

* * *

Blah. I wrote this in a weird style on purpose. It's supposed to be choppy, pausing at the end of each line.

Anyway, I felt like writing this! Please review and tell me what you think.


	2. Pity Pistol revised

Okay. I'm sorry about Siren's Song. It's coming a long... In peices. I warn you- it will NOT be in order when it comes out. You're free to guess until the very end. 

I'm rewriting this, since it's full of errors. Bah.

Definitions:

A Pity Pistol is when you have gratitude for a person or object about to take your life.

--------

Usagi ran down the gray Juuban streets, the air cold and misty from the rain. The few people still outside were scattering away, covering themselves with whatever they had at hand; news papers and brief-cases alike. Soon, the only poor soul left out in the rain was herself.

The rain suited her perfectly at that moment. She felt cold and lonely, and the rain was as though all the tears she'd held back since she'd regained her memories from the Silver Mellineum. Since she'd seen the pained look in her poor kitty's eyes.

Since the day she died.  
-----

She hummed to herself, meeting her own gaze in the mirror, brushing her impossibly long locks of hair. She was lost within her own happiness. She and her lover had spent the whole of the evening sending fleeting glances at each other from across the banquet hall. Serenity had slipped from the meal as soon as she had been given a chance to. She stepped into the cool summer air, taking to the rose-bush maze to a spot only she and one other knew of. Coming upon it, her lover was waiting. With a heated kiss, her lover's hands had already begun to trace her figure; had begun to pull her into a slow ascension to bliss...

A sound startled her from her daydreaming. Glancing to the door at the sound of gentle knocking, she called for them to enter.

Silken waves of hair the color of the night sky slipped through her thick white-oak door. The deep, deep violet complimented by the golden shine of the sun. Lady Luna was a paradox given birth. Eyes as dark as ebony, shinning like diamonds. The prettiest of cobalt hinted in them somewhere. A hauntingly sorrowed, beautifully inspiring mirth hidden in their depths.

She crossed the room and stood behind the small white Princess. Gently, Luna took the brush from her hand and began to take over where the Princess had left off.

"You left the gardens so quickly today-" Luna stopped mid-sentence, seeing her lover's tears. "What's wrong?"

"... Momma she... She betrothed me to the Earth Prince." The air froze. For a fraction fo a second Luna's breath hitched in her throat- then as though it hadn't, a gentle smile spread across her lips. With a soft hand, she brushed the tears from her lover's cheeks. Leaning down, she kissed her gently.

Pulling away, she whispered, "Don't fret. We'll run away together soon, I promise." And their lips met again for a heated, passionate kiss.

-----

When Usagi finally arrived where she had been going, her heart dropped to her knees. Pressing the "call" button to Mamoru's appartment, she waited his answer.

"Mamoru Chiba."

"Mamo-chan? ... Can I come inside"  
-----

Her mother had caught them that night. The lock on the white-oak door had jammed- it never latched. When her mother knocked ever so gently, afraid to wake her daughter up, it had swung open with ease. Taking a minute to adjust to the darkness, she saw a beautiful oung woman. At first glance, she could have sworn it was her daughter... But the hair. The hair that sucked the light from the room... That's when she saw her daughter. Her silver-white tresses tangled with the those of the night. Her daughter's head nestled sweetly between the other woman's breasts...

The tears hit the floor before she'd realized they had begun. Standing to the full of her height, the great Moon Queen prepared for the hardest thing she would ever have to do...

With a harsh clearing of her throat, both women awoke with a start. Usagi rubbed her eyes childishly before starring like a dear in the headlights. Luna's hand found her's and gave a gentle, subtle squeeze.

"Your majesty..."

------

Mamoru opened the door and ushered the small girl into his living room, muttering appologies for the mess (or lack there of) and hurried off to bring her a towel.

Usagi's pained eyes scanned the appartment. She'd spent so many half-hearted nights here, she knew every detail by heart. She knew that, if given the ability to, she could draw every single inch to it's exact likeness.

Perhaps that's why she didn't, why she couldn't, love him. Perhaps because he never seemed to change.

As he entered the room again, he did not miss the look of insecurity and pain in his bunny's eyes. Something had been eating away at her, but if she hadn't mentioned it... It meant she didn't want them to know. Offering her the towel, they sat in silence. Neither looked at eachother while she dried her hair.

After some time, she was first to break the silence. "Mamoru... May I borrow one of your shirts?" He nodded and began to rise when she stopped him. "I can get it, please don't get up because of me." He looked at her,but her eyes did not meet his. Giving a gentle nod, she rose and wandered into the hallway, slowly approaching his room.

When she reached the closest she sought, she picked out an old button-down navy shirt. But the shirt was not the true reason she'd come all this way... Shifting to the tips of her toes, she peered over the top shelf, just a foot from the ceiling. Stretching out her arm, she fished out a single grey shoebox. Lifting the lid, she pulled the small revolver from it's resting place. Returning the box, she hid it within her clothes.

And together, in their silence, they sat until Usagi had to leave. With a last unfeeling kiss, she wondered back into the rain.

-She was not allowed to go anywhere alone. Always with her was one of her Senshi, her guardians, her jailers. Luna was not to see or hear the Princess until sentencing. Serenity was not to be alone, for fear she may try to reach the Mau-an woman. Rei glared at her. The Martian had never been sensitive to her feelings about somethings, and this was one. Of course she'd had her suspicions, but never could have imagined the atrocity of it. Makoto and Ami didn't know what to think. They had been so close for so long to their Princess, they could never look down on her for being happy... But in loving Luna, she had condemned them to a miserable life of war. A life of war and fighting for a moment's peace.

The only one who understood, who pitied the young moon-child was Minako, the Venusian warrior of Love. Minako placed a gentle hand on Serenity's arm, squeezing in comfort. "Please, Serenity. Be strong. Love will find a way."

For months, she became hollow and cold. The endless pools of smile and warmth that seemed to radiate from her very soul withered and died. The Princess grew quiet and reclusive, dreading any contact with another soul she might have to face. Soon, her sorrow turned to anger. She snapped and yelled at any poor soul to have crossed her path.  
-----

Usagi slipped through the front door of her home. Slipping off her shoes, she ran up the stairs. Her mother called her name, but Usagi didn't, or chose not to, listen.

She leaned against her bedroom door as the latched clicked closed. Sliding to the ground, she reached behind her and locked the door shut. Shaking, she unwrapped the bundle of clothing to retreive what she'd gone so far to get.

Holding the silver-colored revolver in her hand, she was in awe of it's sheer weightlessness. The way it fit her hand perfectly.

With a whisper, she begged the bullet not to miss, to put an end to her misery.  
-  
The Lunarian Courts had trialed Luna for treason in the highest. The evidence was substantial. The deliberation was brief and the verdict was swift.

"Luna, advisor to the High Queen, citizen of both the planet Mau and the moon, we sentence you to spend the rest of your years... In the body of a cat. You shall never again know the meaning of love."

As they pulled the black-haired woman away, Serenity slipped through the rear doors.

Reaching both their respective places, the stroak of midnight was awaited. Luna's captors began to chant, and Serenity sought the Lunar Rapier- the one used when Selenity had slain the monsters from the Black Moon's onslaught. As midnight struck, Luna let out a horrible shriek as her captors cast a spell which twisted and reshaped her bones into that of a cat. Serenity plunged the sword into her stomach, and with her last dying breath, cursed the Moon into it's downfall.

-  
Usagi pulled the diamond-and-pearl engagement ring from her left hand. She couldn't marry him. She couldn't live with her lies. The fire Senshi who had hated her, the lost Senshi of Ice and Lightning, and her only comfort and the next leader at hand- the Love Senshi; none of them remembered that time. Her mother had wiped that mess from all but the memories of three people. Luna, Serenity, and Selenity herself; they were all who were left to remember. Usagi's eyes slipped closed, whispering to herself.

"Please, fly true. Don't miss your mark. I can't take the pain and loneliness. I can't live with the pain anymore..."

And with a bang, she left the universe to pick it's peices up off the floor.


End file.
